- no scale !
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thinisinx3- May 16th, 2009
ughhh ; isnt this crazy ! i have no scale in my house ! hOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOWWWWWW how much im losing ?!
- what im going through .
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- thinisinx3
- May 16th, 2009
disappointed
Ok . Soo Im Doingg It .. I Didnt Completely Start On The Last Journal [ Yeah , What A Failure Right ?]
Hmm .. Well .. I Dont COMPLETELY Starve Myself Yett .. But Kinda .. When I Eat , I Puke :'( .. I Know It Sounds Pathetic .. But This is A Site When You Dont Judge People, Right ? :-\ Well , I Started Aroundd 4 Dayss Agoo . I Eat One Time A Day Then Purge ; So Im Not COMPLETELY Fasting . But I See How Bulimia Makes People Throat Bleed & Get dehydrated .. I Dont Want That To Be Me .. All I Keep thinking about is how many guys will like me , or what im going to look likee in my bikini .. but what i scratch out is how much PAIN i will be in , or howw hurt i'll be wheather im losing weight or not .i LOVEEE foood .. but all the food i`ve aten in my life isnt worth feeling how i feel right now .. girls who never had a problem about thier body is soooo lucky .. once your uncomfortable with your body , you'll always feel some kind of pain inside .. as bad as i WANT to lose weight the healthy way , i cant .. the results wouldnt come in as FAST as i hope for ..
im going through alot , my head is spinning , i get weak , all of this .. just to be T H I N . .
Pathetic Right ?
Thanks for listening .
- Does AnyOne Understand Me ?
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- thinisinx3
- May 1st, 2009
- lonely
For about a year now ive been saying to myself " im on a diet , im on a diet " but as in diet i meant starving myself . first , it wus hard . . . soo i wudd not eat for about 2 days & then give up . . this happend to me alot ; & now , A year later , its become serious ... wen i do eat , i purge ; not to be on a diet , its because i cant help it .. ussually i starve myself for many days & only drink water, or chew gum . when i eat.. i feel SOOO Guilty & i just want to curl up and CRYY . Im such a failure . . . i just ate , & now im sitting here by thee computer about to cry . I swear , after today i will STARVE . I want the body i see in magazines , or the body my friends at school havee . Im not as big as most of them , but im also not as skinny .. why cant there be a easier way to lose weight ? , why do STARVING have to be an option ?! i dont know , but if its what i have to do , i'll do it . Summer is coming , and i dont want to look like a PIG in my bathing suit , YUCK . & i dont think im HUGEE . . I just know that a couple of people may have said i was fat or whatever like they were joking , but they dont realize how MUCH that hurts :'( ; someonee PLEASEE help me . :'(
THIN IS IN .. And i wont stop until i get the body i WANT .
